Screenwriter Battlefield Earth biedt excuses aan

Onlangs mocht de screenwriter van Battlefield Earth, J.D. Shapiro, een razzie award in ontvangst nemen voor de Slechtste film van het Decennium; dit deed hij heel classy in person. Ik heb nu al respect voor die gast. In een brief aan de NYPost biedt hij zijn excuses aan voor het gedrocht dat Battlefield Earth heet en legt hij uit hoe de film ooit gemaakt heeft kunnen worden. Onder de cut lees je de grappigste stukjes.

Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see "Battlefield Earth." It wasn't as I intended -- promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing it to a train wreck isn't really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.

De hilariteit begint hier.

It started, as so many of my choices do, with my Willy Wonker.

It was 1994, and I had read an article in Premiere magazine saying that the Celebrity Center, the Scientology epicenter in Los Angeles, was a great place to meet women.

Willy convinced me to go check it out. Touring the building, I didn't find any eligible women at first, but I did meet Karen Hollander, president of the center, who said she was a fan of "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." We ended up talking for over two hours.

Dan beginnen de steken naar Scientology.

She told me why Scientology is so great. I told her that, when it comes to organized religion, anything a person does to reward, threaten and try to control people by using an unknown like the afterlife is dangerous.

Tot twee keer toe zelfs...

I took a few courses, including the Purification Rundown, or Purif. You go to CC every day, take vitamins and go in and out of a sauna so toxins are released from your body. You're supposed to reach an "End Point." I never did, but I was bored so I told them I had a vision of L. Ron. They said, "What did he say?" "Pull my finger," was my response.

Hoe dan ook, op een gegeven moment begint hij dat boek van L. Ron Hubbard te vertalen naar een script.

John asked me, “So, J.D., what brought you to Scientology?” I told him. John smiled and replied, “We have tech that can help you handle that.” I don’t know if he meant they had technology that would help me get laid or technology that would stop Willy from doing the majority of my thinking.

Uiteindelijk is er van zijn scenario niet veel meer overgebleven door de bemoeienis van verschillende Scientologists idioten, waaronder John Travolta.

A few days after I finished the script, a very excited Travolta called, told me he "loved it," and wanted to have dinner. At dinner, John said again how much he loved the script and called it "The 'Schindler's List' of sci-fi."

My script was very, VERY different than what ended up on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters. What my screenplay didn't have was slow motion at every turn, Dutch tilts, campy dialogue, aliens in KISS boots, and everyone wearing Bob Marley wigs.

En daarom zitten we nu opgescheept met Battlefield Earth. Check de hele brief hier.